On October 24, 2009, President Obama signed a proclamation declaring the 2009 H1N1 influenza pandemic a National Emergency to facilitate our ability to respond to the pandemic. To gain additional traction on the now official swine flu national emergency, the White House asked Gumby to become involved.
White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said Friday, “Supply challenges aside, it appears much of the American public is not taking this swine flu stuff seriously. Barack, er, I mean President Obama himself suggested we need a spokestoy to help convince the populace to get on board with this darn thing. He could think of no one better for the job than Gumby!”
The flu outbreak allegedly has killed more than 1,000 people in the United States. Fortunately, no toys have died as a result of this flu.
"As a nation, we have prepared at all levels of government, and as individuals and communities, taking unprecedented steps to counter the emerging pandemic. One of the most effective health measures was to get Gumby on the publicity bandwagon" Obama wrote in the emergency declaration. He said the pandemic keeps evolving; however, Gumby is a constant which gives great solace and hope to all Americans. Obama added “Gumby takes the audacity of hope to an entirely new and higher level. America needs Gumby.”
Cable news pundits immediately began speculation that this was the beginning setup to have Gumby run as Vice President for Obama’s second term.
The government now estimates to have about 5 billion doses of swine flu vaccine out by mid-November. The White House estimates this is enough for 3 shots per American citizen and adequate to hoard worldwide supplies to keep vaccine from our enemies and to reward nations friendly to the United States. A spokesperson for the U.S. House of Representatives stated “Why heck, long as we done got ‘nuff fer all the Billy-Bob’s back in my neck of the woods, I really don’t give a hoot about them who can’t talk American. They ain’t voters.”
In a press conference, Gumby announced his great pleasure to help out the Prez. “Gumby no can catch virus. Gumby have no lungs to breathe those pig germs. But glad to set good example. (Ochoo!) And remember to cover mouth when you cough.” Gumby reminds us.
White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said Friday, “Supply challenges aside, it appears much of the American public is not taking this swine flu stuff seriously. Barack, er, I mean President Obama himself suggested we need a spokestoy to help convince the populace to get on board with this darn thing. He could think of no one better for the job than Gumby!”
The flu outbreak allegedly has killed more than 1,000 people in the United States. Fortunately, no toys have died as a result of this flu.
"As a nation, we have prepared at all levels of government, and as individuals and communities, taking unprecedented steps to counter the emerging pandemic. One of the most effective health measures was to get Gumby on the publicity bandwagon" Obama wrote in the emergency declaration. He said the pandemic keeps evolving; however, Gumby is a constant which gives great solace and hope to all Americans. Obama added “Gumby takes the audacity of hope to an entirely new and higher level. America needs Gumby.”
Cable news pundits immediately began speculation that this was the beginning setup to have Gumby run as Vice President for Obama’s second term.
The government now estimates to have about 5 billion doses of swine flu vaccine out by mid-November. The White House estimates this is enough for 3 shots per American citizen and adequate to hoard worldwide supplies to keep vaccine from our enemies and to reward nations friendly to the United States. A spokesperson for the U.S. House of Representatives stated “Why heck, long as we done got ‘nuff fer all the Billy-Bob’s back in my neck of the woods, I really don’t give a hoot about them who can’t talk American. They ain’t voters.”
In a press conference, Gumby announced his great pleasure to help out the Prez. “Gumby no can catch virus. Gumby have no lungs to breathe those pig germs. But glad to set good example. (Ochoo!) And remember to cover mouth when you cough.” Gumby reminds us.
No comments:
Post a Comment