Gumby vs SpongeBob SquarePants

It started innocently enough – Gumby and SpongeBob used to be good friends. Some comment was made about fitting a square peg into a round hole. This led to an innocent comment by Gumby that the round hole, having a curved edge, was better than the square peg. SpongeBob SquarePants took exception to this stating that straight squared edges were nature’s perfect shape.

Well, with Gumby and SpongeBob both having tremendous egos…one thing led to another. It quickly surpassed personal opinions to academic arguments, each bringing in engineering professors and experts to state their case of the perfect shape. It escalated to a blood feud, each perceiving himself to have been attacked, insulted and wronged by the other.

Sometimes, Gumby gets so mad he could spit, if he were able to spit. SpongeBob, on the other hand, is easily frightened. While resilient, he is easily squeezed into other shapes and can be torn. Actually, he’s quite a mamby pamby. And – to be perfectly honest – who can take a sponge seriously.

Kick him in his square pants Gumby!

Gumby to star in new HBO movie

All right – all right. I know it’s been a while since the last Gumby posting. Sorry ‘bout that. But he’s been very busy filming a new motion picture. It’s an epic sci-fi story about rescuing a curvaceous Princess (portrayed by Angelina Jolie) of the planet Nakanaka from the evil Darth Newt. Along the way he encounters alien mercenaries, flesh eating nanoprobes, and befriends young Sal from the planet Monella. Together they dispatch the evil ones and win the day.

There are 2,302 hours of raw footage to edit down to 40 final hours. Intended to be the “Saving Private Ryan” of space movies, it contains accurately portrayed and graphic footage of hyper light speed travel, passages through black holes, and aliens being blown to atoms (in space no one can hear you scream). It will look more like a documentary than a fictional movie. In the dramatic climax Gumby exclaims, “Newt not Gumby’s father!” Oops – maybe I’ve given too much away.

Pictured here in an exclusive photo is our hero Gumby manning the Onknocknar intergalactic death cannon. Don’t pull the trigger yet, Gumby! Not to give away any movie secrets, let’s just say this weapon does bad things to the bad guys. Look for the first of twenty 2-hour installments on HBO starting in summer of 2010.