July 4th Incident

Tragedy struck the evening of July 4. As a result of defective fireworks, Gumby suffered extensive injuries when a so-called M-80 firecracker exploded while still in Gumby’s mouth. Gumby remembers putting the M-80 in his mouth, but it remains unclear how or who lit the dangerous explosive device. Major trauma occurred to his head and will require extensive plastic surgery to repair. Special “Gumby green plastic” is being expedited from the factory specifically for the surgery.

Fortunately the BIC lighter found in Gumby’s hand did not explode, otherwise, “his hand may have needed to be amputated” said first responders. As it is, just his head needs rebuilding. Get-well cards may be addressed to Gumby at PO Box 1G.

Addendum: Betty Boop, Gumby’s legal representative, quickly released a statement reiterating that it is clearly defective fireworks which are at fault. A major law suit is being prepared against some guy named “Black Cat”. She additionally rejected witness accounts that Gumby was shit-faced drunk at the time after drinking 5 Falstaff beers, 2 glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon (1970 vintage), a hard lemonade, and 3 glasses of other recreational drugs of choice. Betty stated “Everybody knows Gumby can hold his booze. Alcohol has no affect on plastic.”