Gumbelina Uncovered

In response to overwhelming outcries from the public, this blog in cooperation with TMZ (you know – the paparazzi people) and gossip columnist Rona Barrett investigated the past activities of Gumbelina, Gumby’s little sister.

During the time when the entire family appeared as the typical American family on Gumby’s TV series, a competing TV series, The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, was shot in Studio 4 right next to Gumby’s show in Studio 3. Gumbelina began dating teen idol Ricky Nelson. This forbidden love affair with Ricky was discovered when Ricky appeared to have on green lipstick. In fact, he and Gumbelina had been necking and she rubbed off on him. BUSTED!!!

Gusby became overly strict with his daughter and this led her to flee to the northern California commune with a toy named Buzz. Buzz later appeared in the movie Toy Story as Buzz Lightyear, the popular sci-fi action figure. Gumbelina enjoyed raising asparagus because it reminder her of herself: green, slender, hot, and about 6 inches tall. Her interest as an animal lover led her to raise pigs evacuated from Vietnam at the end of the war. They became potbellied as a result of drinking too much beer which was home-made in vast quantities at the commune.

Once she got over the hippie commune thing, she left Buzz (who had become abusive) and ended up in the San Fernando Valley. Her good looks and unique green features landed her roles in 7 porn movies with a reputation as one of the best boy toys. She won an award for her role in “Gumbelina Does Gainesville”. While earning great sums of money, she squandered it on fast men, fast cars, and fast food.

No one is sure how she ended up in Hutto, Texas – whether she lived there or was just passing through. The sighting at the local biker’s bar was when she was riding the mechanical bull. As she held on the bucking behemoth with one little green hand, she was allegedly heard to say “Turn it up all the way, Wes!” If you know Gumbelina’s current whereabouts, please contact this blog.