Got Gumby Game?

As a late season roster addition by the LA Lakers NBA franchise, Gumby has excelled in his power forward position. ESPN sports analyst and former NBA star, Jamal “Stinky” Steintree, states the obvious “The Lakers would not be in the playoffs today and doing as well as they are without Gumby!”

The secret to Gumby’s playoff leading scoring is his ability to quickly run around the court without being stepped on, and then jump up on the shoulder of a team member, like Kobe Bryant, to receive the assist pass. The slam dunk from this position is a sure thing. Yao Ming, Houston Rockets 7 foot 6 inches player, bemoans the tactic “He so small I can’t see him”.

Somewhat hampered by lack of tattoos, Gumby applied a large temporary tattoo of a rose covered with a skull and crossbones at the end of the regular season. This resulted in an increase of 7% in playoff scoring; however, fouls by Gumby increased 23%.

In a bizarre NBA fine, Gumby was penalized $10,000 for allegedly poking his finger in Utah Jazz player Carlos Boozer’s eye. Gumby decried the fine and expressed his disbelief in a press conference exclaiming “Gumby got no fingers!”

The NBA playoffs continue.

Gumby Goes Green

Cause De Jours Sees Double Green
Gumberg Daily News - PR News Release

At a news conference today, publicity agent for Gumby the Amazing Plastic Being, announced the “First Annual South Kansas City Between 99th St and 107th St International Green Summit”. Sponsors, organizers, and keynote speakers at the summit are Gumby and the GEICO Gecko.

Gecko, the well known televised spokeslizard, states “If you want to understand what South Kansas City Between 99th St and 107th St is doing to create healthy communities and a vibrant, green economy, you can’t miss this Green Summit. This is the event for anyone who wants to be part of a green revolution that is changing the world.”

Gumby admits that he finds himself at the nexus of change. His personal goal is to be carbon neutral by 2015, and is already well on his way to achieving the goal. Since last year, he has launched his second phase solar project at Pokey’s house, Gumby’s best friend and red clay pony. After Pokey’s unfortunate melting incident, Gumby redoubled his efforts to perfect the solar heat projection system. Pokey is expected to make a full recovery in 5-7 months.

The term "green" has come to represent a common “greenprint” for citizens, businesses, and governments for how we can move towards a more sustainable future. The Green Summit is designed to greatly accelerate this movement. Privately, Gumby acknowledges that making some cash from registration fees will certainly help stimulate his economy.

Salvador Greenberg, author of “Go Green or Die”, said at the news conference “there is no better one-two punch for the International green movement than Gecko and Gumby. They are small, cute, internationally recognizable, and most importantly, green.”

The final location for the summit is not yet finalized, however sources close to the decision suggest the leading contender is the local cemetery on Holmes Road, as it has much green grass and a low wet area of ground for the gecko.

By contributing staff writer Ben Dover